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GQ Names LSU Fans Among Nation’s Worst

GQ magazine has put together a list of the 15 worst fanbases in America (though one, oddly enough, comes from Canada).  They’re talking about “bleacher creatures, bottle-throwers, couch-torchers, sexual harassers, projectile vomiters, and serially indifferent bandwagon-hoppers.”

Here’s their list:


15.  Los Angeles Lakers basketball
14.  Oregon Ducks basketball
13.  Wisconsin Badgers football
12.  Dallas Cowboys football
11.  Montreal Canadiens hockey
10.  LSU Tigers football
9.  New York Yankees baseball
8.  Duke Blue Devils basketball
7.  Penn State Nittany Lions football
6.  Boston Red Sox baseball
5.  Maryland Terrapins basketball
4.  Oakland Raiders football
3.  West Virginia Mountaineers all sports
2.  Philadelphia Eagles football
1.  Philadelphia Phillies baseball


So why LSU?  You can read the full explanation here.  We would give you a sampling here, but some of the language is too salty for our pages.  Let’s just say it has to do with drunken behavior, cursing, team bus attacks and spitting.  Nice.

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Awful Announcing

South Carolina
Content provided by Garnet And Black Attack.

I know it’s a dark time for us right now — the morning after a nationally televised drubbing. So this is a humorous attempt to bring some levity to the situation. No disrespect to Cam, Auburn, or their fans. This is strictly lampooning the broadcasters.

While it might have proved to have been an unenjoyable experience to watch the Cocks in Atlanta, at least those of you who attended didn’t have to suffer through Verne and Gary as I did yesterday. I agree with GamecockMan–I usually kind of like Gary Danielson. But I think he might have joined Verne for a few highballs before this one. Both were off their game. Verne, as usual, littered his play by play with erroneous calls and general senility. Gary had a mouth full of marbles a few times, seemed a bit sluggish, and pretty much took every spare second to talk about Newton, whether he was on or off the field.

I’m not so naive as to think that announcers are going to watch a controversial Heisman shoo-in leading his undefeated team to the SEC Championship, and then afford equal time to their flatlining opponent. But even with that in mind, Verne, Gary, and the entire CBS production crew were putty in Cam’s hands. 

So for those of you who were at the game…here’s an EDSBS-style recap of the announcing highlights:

(intro graphic package)

Verne: Welcome to CBS’ coverage of the 2010 SEC Championship game featuring the Auburn Tigers! We’re here in Atlanta, Georgia, and we’re ready for football! Gary, our keys to the game.

Gary:  Well Verne, it’s all about Cam Newton. #2, 6’6″ Cam Newton. Speculation about player benefits is swirling, but the young man is playing his game, not worried about anything off the field. Cam Newton. Also, Nick Fairley, the playmaking lineman. And Cam Newton.

Verne:
Hoooo yah. Cam Newton, the 6’6″ phenom well on his way to claiming the Newton Award. I mean the Heisman Award.

Gary: You know, Verne, there are several subplots at play here. For instance, Cam Newton and his off-the-field issues swirling, Gus Malzahn and whether or not he’ll be around next year, swirling off-the-field issues regarding Cam Newton, Nick Fairley, Cam Newton issues all a’swirl, Guz Malzahn, and Cam “Swirlin’ Issues” Newton. Just a few factors to keep in mind.

Verne: With that, we’re set for kick-off!

(later)
(USC runs a play)

Verne: 4 yard gain by not-Auburn.

Gary: When you look at the replay here, the player I want to key in on is Cam Newton. You see him on the sideline there, drinking Gatorade and adjusting his jock. What can’t you say about that guy? He’s dynamic, plain and simple. Obviously he’s able to focus despite off-the-field issues SWIRLING.

(later)

Verne: Newton takes the snap. Draw play, up the middle, for a minimal gain.

Gary: Actually Verne, that was a 75 yard touchdown strike.

Verne: D’oop, so it was! HUH-HAW!

(later)

(Cam Newton gains three yards on a keeper)

Verne:  WOW. GUESS WHO? WOW.

Gary: Verne, I’ve been saying it all game, it’s plays like that. You know, it’s a ho-hum play if anyone else had the ball, we’d make little ado about it, but that just doesn’t apply for Mr. Newton.  And how about NICK FAIRLEY.

(later)

Verne: CAM NEWTON

Gary: CAM NEWTON

Verne: CAM NEWTON

Gary: SWIRLING ISSUES.

Verne: HUH-HAW!

(later)

Gary: I’m just gonna come out and say it, Verne. I am physically aroused by Cam Newton.

Verne: Oooooh yah.

Gary: Look, he’s got it all. Flawless skin, high-set cheekbones, immaculate teeth. I am at, this moment, questioning my heterosexuality on national television, and that’s what a guy like Cam Newton will do to you.

Verne: HUH-HAW!

(later)

Gary: You know Verne, it just struck me that Swirling Issues would have been an excellent name for a Dickens character.

Verne: Indeed it would Gary. You might say Auburn fans had Great Expectations for these Tigers! (audible high-five)

(later)

Verne: And now as the game is well in hand, we see the second string out on the field. Let’s cut to an extended shot of Cam Newton on the sideline between every play. Or hell, just keep the shot on him at all times! Who gives a damn about the game at this point! Oh look, Cam just leaped up into the student section and solved a Rubiks Cube while playing knee-cymbals and giving a beaming Bo Jackson a piggy-back ride! WHAT CAN’T HE DO! ADD IT TO THE LIST!

Gary: Nothing, Verne. The answer…is simply nothing.

(later)

Verne: Well that’s it, Auburn wins big!

Gary: Next stop: Arizona, to take on the Oregon Ducks, who tonight took care of the non-Oregon Ducks in sound fashion.


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Championship Saturday College Football Game Day Open Comment Thread

Georgia
Content provided by Dawg Sports.

At noon, the Central Florida Knights take on the SMU Mustangs in a game that likely will determine the Georgia Bulldogs‘ bowl opponent. At 3:00, the Civil War (as opposed to the War Between the States) kicks off when the Oregon St. Beavers host the Oregon Ducks. At 4:00, the Auburn Tigers begin their clash with the South Carolina Gamecocks for the SEC championship. The showdown for the Apple Cup gets underway at 7:00, three-quarters of an hour before the Florida St. Seminoles and the Virginia Tech Hokies square off with the ACC crown on the line. After the Nebraska Cornhuskers and the Oklahoma Sooners add the concluding chapter to their storied rivalry, the UCLA Bruins and the USC Trojans meet to settle hegemony in the City of Angels.

No, Georgia isn’t playing, but that just means it’s a pressure-free weekend. Your thoughts on the day’s action are invited in the comments below.

Go ‘Dawgs!


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Auburn New BCS Number One; Gamecocks Nineteenth

South Carolina
Content provided by Garnet And Black Attack.

South Carolina's Brian Maddox, left, streches for extra yards as Clemson's DeAndre McDaniel makes the tackle during the second half of the NCAA college football game in Clemson, S.C., Saturday, Nov. 27, 2010. (AP Photo/Patrick Collard)

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Patrick Collard – AP

1 day ago:

South Carolina’s Brian Maddox, left, streches for extra yards as Clemson’s DeAndre McDaniel makes the tackle during the second half of the NCAA college football game in Clemson, S.C., Saturday, Nov. 27, 2010. (AP Photo/Patrick Collard)

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The Auburn Tigers (12-0, 8-0) have claimed the top spot in the latest BCS poll released earlier today.  The South Carolina Gamecocks (9-3, 5-3) fell from eighteenth to nineteenth in this week’s addition.  If Auburn manages to survive the Gamecocks in the SEC title game on Saturday, they’ll move on to the BCS National Championship game against, most likely, the Oregon Ducks (11-0, 9-0).  The Ducks are number two in the BCS rankings and will certainly meet an SEC Champion Auburn team in Glendale, Arizona if they secure a Civil War victory.  However, should South Carolina defeat the Tigers and be crowned kings of the Southeastern Conference, they are assured their first ever BCS bowl trip and will play in the Nokia Sugar Bowl in New Orleans.  A fall still places Carolina as a strong candidate for the Capital One Bowl committee to consider.       


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