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Hate Week: It all comes down to this.

Georgia
Content provided by Dawg Sports.

Let’s get one thing straight: I hate Florida.  It’s not just a simple dislike, a harmonious discord, or even a deep, latent enmity. I hate Florida with the fire of a thousand suns being stoked by the fire of an additional thousand suns.  In a world where my choices were to cheer for Florida or go blind, I’d start learning Braille.  Most of the time, however, I am (relatively) civil while expressing this intense Gator hatred. 

For one week a  year, though, I allow my hate to come out of the closet and be displayed in its raw, naked form.  This is that week.

All I can say, my fellow Dawg fans, is… Bravo! The Bulldog Nation has come through royally this week in its unmitigated hatred of everything that is the Florida Gators. Since the beginning of Hate Week, some people have engaged in statistical analysis, sketchy statistical analysis with an agendatried to ignore the buildup, (before joining the fray), and we’ve written a whole ton of anti-Gator poetry (and a little visual art, as well).

I only hope that, when kickoff approaches tomorrow, our team absolutely brings it on the field as much as the fans have in the blogosphere!  Great job, Dawg fans!  Pat yourself on the back for a Hate-week-job well done.

Today is the conclusion of my week-long series on why I hate the Florida Gators, and you should, too. I’ve already crossed into enemy territory, and will be feasting on the flesh of the enemy for dinner this evening at Park’s Seafood Restaurant in Daytona Beach.  Stop on by and say hello if you’re in the neighborhood!  I’ll be the big guy in the red Georgia polo shirt and khaki shorts  (but no red Georgia cap).

Resuming the countdown…

 

Gator Hater Reason #5: They don’t know the difference between an alligator and a crocodile

This is a crocodile:

Gators_medium

This is an alligator:

Gator_medium

It’s very easy to tell the difference, guys…. it’s not brain surgery!  Rounded snout+few visible teeth = Alligator.  Narrow, longer snout+lots of visible teeth = Crocodile.

Now, to be fair, sometimes the mascot they’ve used is so nebulous as to be impossible to tell the difference.  To wit:

Well, he has no visible teeth, so I guess he’s an alligator, after all.

Their current graphical incarnation of their mascot, though, is without a doubt a crocodile.

Lens5730432_1246842131180px-floridagatoralbertlogo_medium

Since the Florida athletic department can’t seem to decide whether their mascot is an alligator or a crocodile, maybe we should just call them the Florida Croc-o-gators.

Either way, though… you can have ‘em, ’cause I hate ‘em.

 

Gator Hater Reason #4: They give you hope that you can win, then snatch it away at the last second.

This was a rare occurence during the first decade of Gator dominance in the 1990′s. For the last 10 years, this has been their specialty, and it’s especially gut-wrenching.  I’ve already mentioned the 1993 game for which I was in attendance. That was back during a time when we still came to Jacksonville expecting to beat the Sunshine State Saurians every year, though.  Over the last 10 years, we have come into the River City with arguably the better team at least 4 or 5 times, only to leave in bitter disappointment most of those times.

I specifically remember the 2005 engagement, when we started the game the previous week against Arkansas 6-0 and supremely confident.  D.J. Shockley went down against the Hogs, however, and even though Georgia hung on to enter the Florida game at 7-0 and ranked #4 in the country, Shockley missed the entire game and the Dawgs went humbly in a 14-10 setback to the 5-2 Gators, who were ranked #18.

And then there was the Ron Zook era in Gainesville, where two of Mark Richt’s best squads to date (2002 and 2003) both failed to upend our reptilian overlords, losing 20-13 and 16-13, respectively.  (The 2004 team did manage to beat the Zooker after he was fired the week of the Georgia game after losing to the Western Division Bulldogs the week before.)

This year, the Gators have once again endeavored to give the Bulldog Nation hope that this… this… could be the year that the Croc-o-gator curse is turned around and the series starts trending back towards the Bulldogs.  And although my unyielding hatred of everything scaly and reptilian, no matter what they call themselves, compels me to predict a repeat of Georgia’s 1942 75-0 drubbing of the Gators; I have to admit that in my heart, I will remain skeptical of the result until the game is actually complete.

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, I hate you.  Fool me 17 out of 20 years… GGRRRRRRRRRRR.

 

Gator Hater Reason #3: Jorts.

Pictures speak louder than words, but suffice it to say, the Gators have taken something good and honest…

Daisy_dukes_catherine_bach_as_daisy_duke

… and turned it into an object of ridicule and shame.

Gator-jorts-gay-jorts_medium Gator-jorts_medium L9dc269ab0d8e05d3d5d964_medium

Dang, I hate Florida.

 

Gator Hater Reason #2: If When we beat them this year, they will want us to say, “Thank You.”

Literally from the moment he first matriculated at the University of Georgia in 1973, Greg McGarity’s loyalty has been aligned with the winning side in the Georgia/Florida football rivalry.  McGarity graduated from Georgia in 1976, served as women’s tennis coach for a few years, and worked thereafter in the Georgia athletics department.  He was hired away by Florida in 1992, just two years after Florida started its current winning streak. 

Now, McGarity has rejoined the battle on Georgia’s side of the field.  Some people might say that correlation does not equal causation, but I’m not buying it, and neither will the Gators if we suddenly start another winning streak in this series.  Greg McGarity is a Damn Good Dawg, and he is a Georgia man that was lost in enemy territory for years before returning home two months ago.  The only bad part about having him turn our fortunes in this game is that the Gators will bitterly say, “You’re Welcome,” after every defeat they suffer.

But you know what?  I’d totally be willing to put up with it.

 

Now, finally, we have arrived at the number one reason that I hate the Gators, and you should too…

 

 

Gator Hater Reason #1: You don’t need a reason.  We are the Georgia Bulldogs.  They are the Florida Gators.

This…

Georgialogo_mediumGeorgialogo_medium

… is completely incompatible in every conceivable way with this.

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They are Gators, we are Bulldogs. We must break them.

 

I will be in attendance at EverBank field 24 hours hence.  Until then, I will be enjoying the late-October Sunshine State weather with my family for most of the evening.  I’ll be around a little bit, though.  Have a great evening, everyone!  Party responsibly tomorrow!

Go Dawgs!  Beat Florida!


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Hate Week Invades the Visual Arts

Georgia
Content provided by Dawg Sports.

I had originally planned to contribute my own Hate Week poetry… a profanity laced diatribe in the style of Charles Bukowski.  While I was pleased with my contribution, it occurred to me that it would likely offend some, if not all, of my fellow Dawgsports compatriots. 

I’ve always been more enamored of the visual arts and fiction than poetry anyway, so I thought this would be a marvelous opportunity to branch into those areas as it pertains to the hated Gatahs.

For your viewing pleasure (and increased appreciation of Breakfast of Champions), I present a unique piece of Hate Week art in the style of Kurt Vonnegut:

Asshole_by_vonnegut_medium

 



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Hate Week: Why I hate the Florida Gators: #10-6

Georgia
Content provided by Dawg Sports.

Let’s get one thing straight: I hate Florida.  It’s not just a simple dislike, a harmonious discord, or even a deep, latent enmity. I hate Florida with the fire of a thousand suns being stoked by the fire of an additional thousand suns.  In a world where my choices were to cheer for Florida or go blind, I’d start learning Braille.  Most of the time, however, I am (relatively) civil while expressing this intense Gator hatred. 

For one week a  year, though, I allow my hate to come out of the closet and be displayed in its raw, naked form.  This is that week.

Some people are engaging in statistical analysis of the matchup (or even sketchy statistical analysis with an agenda… which surely has never been done before). Some people are simply trying to ignore the buildup, so as to not lose productivity at work. Balderdash, I say. I’m giving in and embracing my irrational, uncompromising hatred of everything that is the Florida Gators

Today, I present reasons number 10-6 for why I hate the Florida Gators, and you should, too.

 

Gator Hater Reason #10: They’ll score 50 points on you just because they “heard no one had ever done that before.”

I was sitting in Sanford Stadium on October 28, 1995.  In fact, I stayed until the clock read 0:00 in the 4th quarter, just because I wanted to make sure I remembered the pain.  I personally witnessed the flea flicker with 5 minutes left in the game, and I personally cursed Steve Spurrier’s name out loud when the flea flicker play resulted in a touchdown.  And we’re all familiar with the postgame press conference quote by Spurrier that he had called the flea flicker because he wanted to score 50 points in Sanford Stadium, because he’d “heard no one had ever done that before.”

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“Yep, well, it’s your job to stop us from scoring 50, ain’t it?”

As the years have progressed, however, I have realized that my hatred of Spurrier that day was misplaced.  Steve Spurrier was merely influenced and possessed by the ultimate corrupter of all corrupters… the Florida Gators.  (But more on that in a minute.)

You know Urban Meyer would do the exact same thing if given the chance, too.  He’s already intentionally shown us up by calling 2 timeouts in the waning moments of the 2008 blowout. 

Dang, I just hate these guys.

Gator Hater Reason #9: Gators corrupt, and absolute Gators corrupt absolutely.

The ultimate example of Gator corruption can be seen in the very recent past.  You see, there was this kid who lived in Jacksonville, Florida.  He was the youngest son of a couple who were Christian missionaries in the Philippines.  He was home-schooled his entire life, but was afforded the chance to play football by a relatively new Florida law allowing home-schooled children to play athletics in their home school districts.  And he embodied all of the traits that we as fans love to see in football players… he was fierce, intense, strong, and had the heart of a warrior.  Every day, he was trying to get better, bigger, faster, and stronger. 

And on top of all that, he had a human interest story, too.  When his mother was pregnant with him, she suffered a severe placental laceration due to an illness, and doctors gave her unborn baby a mere fraction of a chance to live.  In fact, they recommended that she have an abortion, because her own health was in significant danger as well.  (No political comments about abortion, please.)  She, of course, elected to forgo the abortion and take the risk, and this child who would grow to become one of the most well-known football players of our time was born.

And then, Tim Tebow went to Florida. The qualities of “super-devout Christian” and “hardcore Gator” are already separated in my head as far as the east is from the west, so it makes even less sense to see a kid with Tebow’s heritage screaming, chomping on the sidelines (and on the field in Jacksonville), and doing something so silly as crying on the sidelines after every loss he suffered in college. 

I don’t blame him for crying, though… it’s the corrupting nature of the Gators. I mean, this is a kid who admitted that he had to run away from girls who were taking their bikini tops off when trying to get a picture taken with him.  He tried… he really did.  But Gator corruption is inevitable, and when you realize the nature of your corruption, and the fact that you’ve now lost, to boot, one is left with crying as the only option, really.

I have no doubt that Steve Spurrier, Kerwin Bell, Ricky Nattiel, Emmitt Smith, and many other Florida players were perfectly fine, upstanding individuals before they matriculated in Gainesville.  It’s just inevitable, though, man… Gators corrupt, and absolute Gators corrupt absolutely.

 

Gator Hater Reason #8: Orange is an ugly color.  (Especially when paired with blue.)

Sometimes a (set of) picture(s) is worth a thousand words.  just look at this.

Floridaorange_medium O_n9wc7d5edgujdiu_medium

Orange-a-licious

Now, look at this:

Herschel_walker_medium Knowshon_moreno_vs_westen_carolina_medium

I rest my case.

 

Gator Hater Reason #7: Florida fans are, collectively, the worst fan base in the country.

I make it a rule to refrain from personal attacks in my writing, but I feel no qualms at all towards attacking a fan base as a whole (if the arguments are justified).  Florida’s fan base certainly qualifies as attack-worthy.  Almost to a man, they have as a whole been the most arrogant, obnoxious, and classless fans I have ever had the misfortune to encounter.  And I’m not talking just about Jacksonville, either… at work, at church, hell, even when crossing the street in a random midwestern city… I’ve been treated with no class by Gator fans in every setting over the last 33 years.

The pièce de résistance, however,  is the Florida fan’s extreme bandwagonny nature.  Florida fans never cease to rub it in incessantly when your team has fallen to theirs, but if they’re down by more than 10 points in the 4th quarter (or more than 20 points at any time during the game), they’ll desert their team faster than rats on a sinking ship.

Wlocp-2007-uga-42-uf-301_medium
Yeah, like that.

And I know that we get some redneck weirdos in Georgia that paint Bulldogs on their head and such, but I have never… ever… seen Bulldog fans that rival the likes of these:

15_florida_fan_who_really_likes_tebow_medium

Gatorfans_medium Gators_medium

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Ok, this guy is possibly the equal of Peanut Butter Man, but he’s the only one.

I’ve also uncovered some little-known footage of the most destructive element of one of the best movies of the ’80′s, and he’s a die-hard Gator fan.

Stay_puft_gator_fan_medium

So what do you think about that, dawg fans?  I hate it.

 

Gator Hater Reason #6: They think football was invented at the University of Florida in either 1990 or 1906, neither of which is true.

Ok, so here’s the story.  In 1884, the Florida Agricultural College in Lake City, Florida, became the first land-grant college in the state of Florida.  It was, by virtue of its position, considered the premier college in Florida at the time, and focused on the scientific training of agricultural and mechanical specialties.  In 1903, the Florida state legislature changed the name of Florida Agricultural College to “The University of Florida.”  (Presumably, this was to avoid the unfortunate jokes that could be made at the expense of FAgU.) 

This FAgU did field a football team, and the year following its name change, the University of Florida played and lost 5 games by an aggregate score of 0-255.  This display of futility included a 52-0 thrashing at the hands of the University of Georgia Red and Black in Macon.  (They also lost to Alabama, Auburn, Georgia Tech, and West Florida Seminary/Florida State College.)

In 1905, the Florida legislature figured they just had to dip their toe in the pool again just to stir everything up, and the University of Florida (the one at Lake City) was merged with East Florida Seminary (in Gainesville) and two other schools to create…  The University of Florida (this time in Gainesville).  The University of Florida (Lake City)’s President was chosen to be the new President of the new University of Florida (Gainesville), and the students and faculty were transferred down to Gainesville, as well.  Due to the transition, UF fielded no team in 1905, but resumed playing football in 1906.  They did not renew their series with the Red and Black until 1915.

Now, for some inexplicable reason, even though they took UF’s name, president, students, and faculty, the modern-day University of Florida claims that the 1904 results against Georgia never really happened, and if by some chance they did, it was certainly not their University of Florida that would have been so roundly thrashed by the University of Georgia.

Comical_ali_medium
This is a perfectly reasonable explanation!  The NEW University of Florida is nothing like the OLD University of Florida was! There is nothing to see here!  Everything is all right!

For being a bunch of liars and revisionist history makers, the Florida Gators have earned our hate.  (Besides, we need every victory we can get against them to maintain our overall series lead.)

Tomorrow… the final countdown!

(Sorry this is obligatory)

 

Go Dawgs! Beat Florida!


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Hate Week: Why I hate the Florida Gators: #15-11

Georgia
Content provided by Dawg Sports.

Let’s get one thing straight: I hate Florida.  It’s not just a simple dislike, a harmonious discord, or even a deep, latent enmity. I hate Florida with the fire of a thousand suns being stoked by the fire of an additional thousand suns.  In a world where my choices were to cheer for Florida or go blind, I’d start learning Braille.  Most of the time, however, I am (relatively) civil while expressing this intense Gator hatred. 

For one week a  year, though, I allow my hate to come out of the closet and be displayed in its raw, naked form.  This is that week.

Some people are engaging in statistical analysis of the matchup (or even sketchy statistical analysis with an agenda… which surely has never been done before). Some people are simply trying to ignore the buildup, so as to not lose productivity at work. Balderdash, I say. I’m giving in and embracing my irrational, uncompromising hatred of everything that is the Florida Gators

Tonight, I present reasons number 15-11 for why I hate the Florida Gators, and you should, too.

 

Gator Hater Reason #15: They’re cheaters who play dirty.

We joke that Florida fans think their football program started in 1990, because that was the year they hired Steve Spurrier, and the following year they won their first SEC title, which was their first conference title of any kind.  Trying to compare the pre-1990 Gators to the pre-2010 South Carolina Gamecocks, however, is not an altogether valid comparison.

You see, if they weren’t dirty cheaters, 1991 would not have been Florida’s first SEC championship.  In 1984, the Sunshine State Saurians finished with a conference record of 5-0-1, and claimed their first SEC championship.  During the offseason, however, the NCAA realized that Charley Pell felt that certain major portions of the NCAA rulebook were optional, and Florida was forced to vacate their 1984 SEC Championship.  The Gators went on to compile the best record in the SEC in 1985 and 1990 as well… but, well, they just couldn’t seem to shake off those old cheatin’ ways, and therefore were declared ineligible for the titles during those seasons, as well.

And for the third day in a row, I will remind you about Urban Meyer’s enchantment with “a certain morally casual attitude.”  Then there’s this:

(I truly apologize for subjecting you to another viewing of the Grambling uniforms.  Those responsible for this video’s inclusion have been sacked.)

Do we need any more evidence to support the notion that we must hate the Gators because they are dirty, rotten cheaters? No?  Moving along, then…

Gator Hater Reason #14: Florida is America’s wang.

Excuse me for a moment. 

(Steps into time machine.)

(Goes back to a time when I was 12 years old.)

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 (snicker)

Gator Hater Reason #13: Because they can’t count.

Yes, this is a 10-year-old election joke.  I don’t care if it’s already played out, because it’s low-hanging fruit. LOW HANGING FRUIT!  You can hate the state of Florida either because:

a) They voted Al Gore for President, but couldn’t “Shit Tyrone Get it Together” enough to count the votes correctly.  OR

b) They voted G.W. Bush for President, and couldn’t count well enough to avoid generating a huge new branch of conspiracy theorists that claim that the Republicans orchestrated 9/11.

See, it generates enough hate for all! I just love it when a plan comes together.

Gator Hater Reason #12: The entire state of Florida is just three types of people: Old yankees, tourists, and those trying to extract money from the previous two.

Florida is where people from Michigan, Ohio, New York, Pennsylvania, and other Union cold states go when they’ve gotten too old to function in the snow any longer.  They do have to have means to support themselves in this new tropical old-people’s paradise, though.  And where there’s money, there are always lots of people looking for ways to get at that money.

Likewise, Disney, Universal Studios, Sea World, Busch Gardens, and many other smaller recreational destinations pull in millions of tourists a year with wads of cash burning a hole in their pockets.  (Not to mention the tourism at beaches… but it’s hard to have cash burning a hole in your pocket when you’re wearing a swimsuit with no pockets.)

Georgia-bikini-red-top_medium Georgia-bikini-red-back_medium
I mean, I know where you could put some cash in that swimsuit… but it wouldn’t exactly be hiding.

In fact, the predatory nature of many of these gold-digging residents of the Sunshine State could help explain why their fans and administrators seem to have such a casual attitude towards discipline and, you know, ethics. That’s my story, at least, and I’m sticking to it.

For having such a morally ambiguous social compass surrounding them, we could pity the Gators… but not me.

 

Gator Hater Reason #11: If you can’t beat ‘em, hate ‘em.

This may seem awfully fatalistic to some, but hey, we’ve won 3 out of the last 20 meeting here… we’re entitled to a little gallows humor. Understand where I’m coming from, as well.  My first Georgia/Florida game was in 1993.  That was the year that Eric Zeier threw a touchdown pass on the last play of the game to win, only to find out that Florida had called a timeout mere milliseconds before the ball was snapped.  On the ensuing play (the actual last play of the game), Zeier’s pass fell harmlessly to the Gator Bowl turf, and Florida celebrated their 3rd straight victory over the Georgia Bulldogs

The weather that day roughly approximated India during monsoon season, as well.  I had come completely unprepared, with no poncho and no umbrella.  (Umbrellas were forbidden at the Gator Bowl, anyway.)  As I recall, the temperature was somewhere in the low 70′s, and it rained… hard… the entire game. I have never been more soaked through to the bone my entire life than I was that day.  And for one brief moment at the end of the game, none of it mattered.  Then, the Gators found a way to win, and I realized just how cold and wet I was, and that I didn’t like it. 

For putting me through that misery only to yank victory from the jaws of defeat, I hate the Florida Gators.  For forcing me to endure 11 additional losses in Jacksonville since that day, I hate the Florida Gators.  And, most of all, for forcing me to watch helplessly as Steve Spurrier threw a long bomb at the end of the game just so he could score 50 points on Georgia for the first time in Sanford Stadium…

I. HATE. FLORIDA.

Tomorrow… we break into the top ten!  (Only time you’ll hear that again in relation to either the Dawgs or the Gators this season.)

 

Go Dawgs! Beat Florida!


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Hate Week: Why I hate the Florida Gators: #20-16

Georgia
Content provided by Dawg Sports.

Let’s get one thing straight: I hate Florida.  It’s not just a simple dislike, a harmonious discord, or even a deep, latent enmity. I hate Florida with the fire of a thousand suns being stoked by the fire of an additional thousand suns.  In a world where my choices were to cheer for Florida or go blind, I’d start learning Braille.  Most of the time, however, I am (relatively) civil while expressing this intense Gator hatred. 

For one week a  year, though, I allow my hate to come out of the closet and be displayed in its raw, naked form.  This is that week.

Some people are engaging in statistical analysis of the matchup (or even sketchy statistical analysis with an agenda… which surely has never been done before). Some people are simply trying to ignore the buildup, so as to not lose productivity at work. Balderdash, I say. I’m giving in and embracing my irrational, uncompromising hatred of everything that is the Florida Gators

Tonight, I present reasons number 20-16 for why I hate the Florida Gators, and you should, too.

 

Gator Hater Reason #20: Because gator tails are right tasty.

For those of you who have never dined upon the empennage of an alligator that has been sliced, breaded, and lightly-fried to golden perfection, you really should try it.  Besides meeting the definition of “feasting on the flesh of the enemy” during hate week, it’s actually a tasty little treat.  Unlike what some people might tell you, it does not “taste like chicken.”  It is lean, and actually has a certain firmness to it that can easily be overcooked into a rubbery mess, so try to find a place that is known for having good gator tail… you won’t regret it.  (Suggestions welcome in the comments section!)

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Now that’s what I call a fine Hate Week appetizer!

Unfortunately, the only way to get your hands on the gator’s tail is, of course, to dispatch your local gator posthaste. We’ll be getting right on that this Saturday.

Gator Hater Reason #19: Because Gator tears are even tastier than gator tails.

I don’t believe this needs additional explanation.  I’m going to talk about it anyway, though (of course).

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This “Gator tail” is the main course.

There is no feeling in the world like the feeling when you’re in the stands and your team is leading the Florida Gators in the 4th quarter and the clock reads 0:00.  The wailing and gnashing of teeth of the 0.01% of Florida fans that stick around to the end is especially sweet. (As is the unrepeatable blogging and defaming of Wilford Brimley’s name that results.)  Call it shadenfreude, call it shadenflorida… I don’t care what you call it, I just love tasting it.

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And that is a crocodile on your head, not a gator!

 

Gator Hater Reason #18: Urban Meyer is a jerk.

Urban Meyer is the ultimate personification of the proverbial “win at any cost” coach.  I discussed yesterday how he haphazardly treats disciplinary issues; I truly would not be surprised if he announced one day that he was going to suspend his star offensive player for two games, but that it would be served in reality by him being suspended for half the game for four straight games.  Then, we would find out that the “half a game” the player was suspended for was all the defensive plays.

Meyer’s priorities in life are so out of whack as to almost be pitiable.  When Meyer had a health scare last year and briefly announced his retirement, his younger daughter seemed to be overjoyed at “getting her daddy back.”  Maybe Urban just has some commitment issues or something, because about 10 seconds 24 hours after her statement became public, Meyer announced that he was just playing an early April fools joke on everybody, and he’d be coming back to coach the Gators after a long (short) sabbatical.

Meyer’s character was on even clearer display when he confronted a reporter during spring practice (after his long (short) sabbatical) for directly quoting a player in context in a non-inflammatory way:

Ladies and Gentlemen, your head coach for the University of Florida.  Need I say more?

 

Gator Hater Reason #17: You have to respect them even though you HATE them.

I believe I’ve made my feelings pretty clear vis a vis the University of Florida.  There’s no denying that one of the things that helps to intensify that vitriol, however, is the fact that you can’t just say, “Hey Florida sucks, they’re perennially overrated, and they’ll never again do anything worth getting hot and bothered about.”  (They’re not Notre Dame, after all.)  As Sun Tzu says, to defeat one’s enemy, one first has to truly know one’s enemy.

The Florida Gators have a great and storied history since they started their football program in 1990, and in spite of the resurgence seen by their rivals in Tallahassee and Coral Gables, they are still the premier college football program in the state of Florida.  They are going to get world-class athletes, and they are going to, every year, have the potential to be a conference and national championship contender.  To imply or hope otherwise is foolish and delusional.

If you want to defeat the Florida Gators, you are going to have to bring your “A” game every time, and you’d better expect a 60 minute fight, where at any time, a close slobberknocker of a game can be turned into a 49-10 41-17 blowout. 

You hate them, but you have to respect them.  Which makes you hate them even more.

 

Gator Hater Reason #16: They’re wearing an(other) alternate uniform on Saturday.

This site’s disdain for the alternate uniform trend (which I refer to as “the Oregon-ization of football”) has been well-documented.  When wearing alternate uni’s in the Mark Richt era, Georgia is now 2-2… but the 2 losses were really, really WTF-level losses. 

Florida, on the other head, has had some success with alternate uniforms.  The first one I remember was the “multicolored torso” uniform that was worn to the OMG IT BURNS 2008 cocktail party, and that seemed to work out well for them. 

Universityoffloridagatorsjerseyswiththenikeorangesleevesthatlookedlikeass_medium

Check out the name of this image.  Yeah, that’s about right.

Most recently, they’ve taken to wearing the white helmet with either a block or italicized “F” on it, which I have to admit I like more than their current Sunkist helmet.

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They’ve also had more mixed results with this style, and you can’t complain about that.

This Saturday, the Saurians will be donning their official new Nike Pro Combat 2010 uniforms. (As you might recall, the Nike Pro Combat craze gave us the “Tron Bowl” between the Virginia Tech Microchips and the Boise State Neon Blues in the first week of the season.) Florida’s Pro Combat uniforms will still have the Sunkist helmets, but they will have a new “scaly” look added.

Florida-nike-pro-combat3_medium
Yeah, that sounds about right to me, too. You can see a full-screen pic here.

 

So, they’re tasty, twice, have a world-class jerk for a coach, you have to respect them, and they’re wearing another butt-ugly uniform that we’ll have to endure as they whip us again we whip them 75-0?  I’m sold.

Tomorrow… 5 more reasons why I hate Florida, and you should, too!

Go Dawgs!  Beat Florida!


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