USC approved a $65.1 million athletics budget last week and have sent it to the full board of trustees for their approval. The 400-page snoozefest of a budget is full of accounting jargon that led yours truly to study, decipher and translate the true meaning of several items.

* $4,5000 for athletic equipment repairs.

TRANSLATION: We’ll be fixin’ A LOT of Spurrier’s sun visors.

* $250,000 for state-of-the-art stadium sound system.

TRANSLATION: We need something to drown out the giggles of UT fans after USC cheerleaders yell, “Go Cocks!”

* $250 for instructional manuals.

TRANSLATION: Spurrier’s buying a bunch of books for players (A Dummies Guide to Really, REALLY Crazy-Arse Trick Plays That May Not Work…But Then Again, They Just Might.)

* $35,000 for media training for athletic coach staff.

TRANSLATION: For the love of….we’ve got to get Spurrier an acting coach before he does another one of those Under Armour commercials.

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