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Apologies for my sloth in not getting this up in a more timely fashion.

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And thanks again to NYDore for composing our ballot this week:

1. Alabama

Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Maximus knows that style points aren’t needed when you win convincingly.

2. Florida

The real question is who loves Tebow more: God or SEC officials?

3. LSU

When your team features the NCAAs most sophisticated doping program, you become incredibly dangerous after a bye week.

4. South Carolina

Thou shalt not be penalized for losing at Alabama. Even if staying in the Top 25 was a bit of a surprise.

5. Arkansas

They picked up a big win this past week, even if the win only counted for those watching the game, reading stories about the game, seeing highlights highlights of the game or those generally aware that college football is played. Not so much with the boxscore or the officials.

6. Tennessee

With McCoy throwing INTs, Bradford injured and Lamb of God concussed, one has to wonder if Eric Berry spent the off week making attack ads on upstart Heisman contender Mark Ingram.

7. Georgia

Got to flex their muscles, really for the first time in a season of disappointment. And Richt stayed off the hot seat for one more week.

8. Ole Miss

Despite his best efforts, Snead was unable to throw any interceptions this week. Perhaps C-USA DBs just don’t have the hands to hold on to his picks.

9. Auburn

Schadenfreud fans are rooting for Gene Chizek to go on a losing streak. After suprising everyone with a 5-0 start, one has to wonder if the SEC schedule will separate the wheat from the Iowa State.

10. Kentucky

Wildcat fans are probably unaware of this victory because “I SAW JOHN WALL IN HIS UNIFORM!!! AND JOHN CALIPARI TOUCHED ME!!! OH MY GAWD!!!!”

11. Mississippi State

Congrats to Anthony Dixon who is probably the most forgotten elite player in the league thanks to MSU’s struggles over the last few years.

12. Vanderbilt

As a Vandy fan, I’d rather watch Dancing with the Stars than our games… and it’s hard for me to say that because I have testicles.

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Greetings from Maryville. As this goes to print, we are headed to the golf course for the obligatory pre-wedding scramble. For those of you unable to join us, here’s Part II of our Q&A exchange with Garnet and Black Attack. Here are our questions and their answers:

1. How on earth did you convince Alshon Jeffrey to decommit from Pete Carroll to attend South Carolina?

While I’d like to say that Alshon decided to play for a real football program, I think we both know that’s not the case. Alshon likely decided to come here because (1) he’s a Gamecock and wanted to stay home and (2) he knew he’d get right into the starting lineup here. I’m sure it helps that he has good reason to believe our program is moving in the right direction and that he has a chance to be one of the difference makers, but let’s not kid ourselves; if he wanted to win conference championships and hang out with movie stars, he would have gone to Southern Cal.

2. I’ve heard of some dude named Eric Norwood. Is he the most unsung defensive player in the SEC?

Well, now he’s getting more attention, so I wouldn’t call him unsung any longer. But up until now, yeah, he has been. Why has that been the case? Norwood has been a star for us since his sophomore year, so it’s not like he’s come out of nowhere. But South Carolina isn’t really on college football’s cultural map in the same, say, Florida or Alabama are, so I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that no one thought about Norwood in the same way that they think about Rolando McClain or Brandon Spikes. Norwood’s propensity to break out in big games, though, has led to his rise in stature this year; see Ole Miss.

3. Is Stephen Garcia a Rex Grossman re-incarnate or can he play well on a consistent basis?

The jury is still out on that one. Garcia has shown that, at the very least, he can avoid being the turnover machine Blake Mitchell and Chris Smelley were at times. He currently has four INTs on the season, or the same number that Smelley threw last year against Clemson. However, Garcia’s accuracy and his inability to avoid sacks have cost us this year, especially last week against Alabama. As a dual-threat QB in high school, I think Garcia picked up a lot of bad habits. He never throws it away, thinks he can rely on his feet too much at times, and doesn’t have good throwing mechanics. He’ll need to work on those things to take the next step. That said, he has shown improvement, so I have high hopes that he’ll put in the time it takes to get better.

4. The Gamecocks are 5-2 after a tough game in Tuscaloosa which was closer than the experts claimed. Just how good is this team?

Again, I think the jury is still out on that one. I think this team is going to finish at least 7-5 and will keep the losses relatively close. However, there has been some indication that we can do better and get to eight or nine wins. Doing that will require that the defense toughens up on the run and that the offense begins converting on more opportunities. I think it’s doable, but it’s going to be a tough haul.

5. Is it just us, or is the Fun N’ Gun finally back at South Carolina?

Not quite, but we’re certainly a lot closer than we were this time last year. Quarterback play is better, we now have above-average running backs, we have talented receivers, and line is at least a little better. However, as Alabama showed last week, this offense still isn’t ready to score lots of points against elite defenses. We’re still weak in the trenches against talented front sevens, and our receiving crew is young even if talented. There’s still room for improvement, which I hope we’ll see by the end of the year and more so next year.

6. Predictions for Saturday’s Game?

This game has me worried, which shouldn’t surprise anyone considering how the last two years have gone. However, I think this year’s Gamecocks teams is improved even if young, and Vanderbilt appears way down. I’m especially skeptical of the Vandy offense, which probably won’t be able to do much on its own against our defense. That means that we should be able to win this game barring game-changing turnovers. This year’s Gamecocks team is much less prone to committing those sorts of errors, and I doubt they’ll start doing it in a game in which they have lots of motivation to make a good showing. I predict a close, defensive game early on, with the Gamecocks up 6-10 points at halftime. In the second half, Vandy’s defense wears down and the Gamecocks pull away for a 24-6 victory.

7. Our boy Seamus is getting married just before kick-off on Saturday. Does the Garnet and Black Attack have any advice for our newly married friend?

Not being married myself, I’m perhaps not the person to give such advice. Having been to plenty of them, though, the one thing I would say is that he should make sure he enjoys the festivities himself in addition to making sure all the guests are happy. At any rate, I promise to pour out a libation in Seamus’s honor Saturday night. I’d also like to commend Seamus for getting married on an away-game weekend, so as not to make his friends on the VSL choose between the wedding and a Vanderbilt game.

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These thoughts/observations/questions are in no particular order of importance, but rather just stuff I wrote as it occurred to me:

1. Why have Jamie Graham play both ways now? Are you telling me we couldn’t have used him last week against Army at wide receiver? How about against Ole Miss when we had close to 10 drops? I don’t understand why, only after 6 games and 4 losses, are we trying to put our best team on the field on offense. With Casey Haywood’s interception and keeping his feet inbounds, maybe it’s time we have both our starting receivers play both ways.

2. I thought the play-calling on the offensive end was better to start the game. There was a good mix of passing and running plays. It didn’t result in much, but it was better.

3. PLEASE STOP RUNNING THAT REVERSE. No one is surprised…in fact, defenses are expecting it. Yet another 4 yard loss.

4. To be as experienced as they are, the offensive line is pretty bad. I know we lost James Williams and that has had an impact. But one of the reasons Larry gets so many balls batted down is because he’s got defensive ends in his kitchen all game.

4a. Larry Smith has to get more accurate. I know his line doesn’t always give him time, but he doesn’t put the ball where he needs to. He’s also got to stop staring down his receivers. That interception was handed to the UGA safety on a silver plater.

4b. Alex Washington has to step to the ball on that throw. If he does, the ball is probably not picked-off, and he might even get the flag,

4c. Larry Smith does make some very good throws (like when he threaded the needle to Brandon Barden for what would have been a first down) that get doped.

5. The defense is fantastic. Except for AJ Green’s 65-yard scamper, they are very good. As Stanimal texted me: “I feel so damn sorry for our defense…[the defense is] wasted on such a pathetic offense.” He had more to say, but this is a family blog.

6. I think the “chess match” the announcers referred to when CBJ called not 1 but 2 time outs at the end of the quarter to force UGA to punt the ball into the wind. A few problems: first, the Georgia kid still had a booming punt; second, Vanderbilt only got to run 1 play on offense and then had to go into the wind.

That’s all I’ve got (for now). As I hit send, UGA just scored a TD. 14-3 Dawgs.

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Homecoming Weekend, Vanderbilt/Georgia: Who Ya Got?(polls)

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CBJ and Ted Cain continue to hold their ground, leaving Larry at the helm and trying to fend off calls for a change at QB while also seeking to avoid letting this season spiral completely out of control. Meanwhile, Mackenzi Adams is getting more and more fumed — and less and less shy about vocalizing it to the media. I’d say this is a recipe for disaster or a harbinger of implosion, but it’s possible we’ve already crossed that bridge. What say you?

In related news, I knew we’d hit rock bottom when our fearless leader CBJ resorted to whining about the late-game pass interference call against Army. I mean, a bad call it may have been, but seriously…ARMY.

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NYDore and I collaborated on these. Mostly his work, with a couple of additions from me. I got these in late so I’m not sure if they’ll be tallied in the official results. – PhilipVU94.

1. Alabama
Yawn. SEC West opponent… no third down conversions allowed… 200 yards rushing against 72 allowed… +4 turnover margin…. Wake me when we get to Atlanta.

2. Florida
The real question is whether or not the Pope is the only one who’s actually allowed to flag the Lamb of God for excessive celebration. I’m sure JP2 would have tossed one by now.

3. South Carolina
An ugly home win over a weak UK team makes me wonder if Spurrier and the Cocks are about to hit the wall.

4. LSU
When your offense is reduced to nothing and you wrack up penalties, it doesn’t matter if you hold the Gators to 13.

5. Arkansas
The SEC is full of mystery teams, but this may be the hardest of the bunch to figure out. If that Auburn offense is for real, then the Hogs seem to have shored up their D just enough to win.

6. Auburn
Chizik suffered a bad Iowa State flashback on Saturday.

7. Georgia
If you allow Jonathan Crompton to do that to your defense, don’t you have to fire somebody?

8. Tennessee
We’ve figured out the secret to getting the best out of Crompton: Start all Neyland games at 12:30 Eastern. (Playing opponents without a defense helps, too.)

9. Kentucky
Kentucky can only hope this means Randall Cobb will be at QB. They might actually make a run at a bowl game if that’s the case.

10. Ole Miss
Jevan Snead has reaffirmed his status as the SEC’s top turnover machine… he’s the bizarro Eric Berry.

11. Mississippi State
On the bright side, losing to Houston wasn’t nearly the worst out-of-conference loss this week.

12. Vanderbilt
Cut poor Vandy some slack — they have to go up each game against jock schools that can hand-pick any recruits they want. By the way, who did they lose to this week?

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According to the Tennessean, running back Jermaine Doster has been suspended indefinitely from the football team for violating team rules. Doster was suspended for the entirety of last season after being arrested in Tampa. He is the brother of Kwame Doster, a running back for the Commodores who was gunned down over Christmas break after his freshman fall.

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Then we are really having a difficult time penetrating the Vanderbilt fan market.

Letter to the Editor, Vanderbilt Hustler, Nathaniel Buchheit, A&S, Class of 2009

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Josh Henderson, a 6′11″ center from Roanoke, Virginia has committed to Vanderbilt.

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It occurs to me that I’ve spent several months since December getting in mild disputes with half the population of VandySports.com for believing that dumb luck played a significant role in Vanderbilt’s 2008 football season. Now I’m getting in mild disputes with the other half for believing that the coaching staff isn’t a bunch of bums who need to be sent packing.

I know it’s just part of the nature of sports boards that everyone is overreacting to the latest result, but it feels like you can’t win. You’re either not sufficiently impressed by the feats of your team, or you’re too impressed and too willing to cut the staff some slack.

Anyway, I have very little to say analytic about VU football any more. See Initial Thoughts on Army Game from VSL if you want to read more serious content about that train wreck.

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Just a repost of something I wrote up on VS in response to a poster claiming that last year’s loss to Duke was really as bad as our latest screw-up.

Duke finished 57th in the 2008 Sagarins, 18 spots behind Vanderbilt. The Devils finished 4-8 but were probably somewhat unlucky given what the scoring margins of their games would suggest; BCS-conference teams around them in the Sagarins finished between 5-7 and 7-5.

Army is 131st in the latest Sagarins, 10 spots behind Vanderbilt. Both teams are behind a good dozen to two dozen I-AA teams including Central Arkansas, Bill & Mary, Elon, and Villanova. I don’t think there’s any question Army’s much worse than Duke was last year.

(As an aside, think about that for a second. Vanderbilt has fielded a team that’s objectively worse than Villanova, a private school with many fewer advantages than we have. We are, however, 12 spots better than Furman.)

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I had a somewhat uneasy feeling all week that something like what happened today would happen. Unfortunately, that feeling proved to be prophetic. Today’s loss might be the most disappointing ones I’ve ever seen (although I think I’ve said this before on this space). For those of you who watched the game, you know what I’m talking about. I have to imagine that for those watching at home, the game was all that much more painful given the replays. A few thoughts.

1. No Excuses. I truly mean no disrespect to Army, but that is a game that Vanderbilt absolutely must win. Forgot about bowl eligibility, forgot about any of that. This is a game an SEC team has to win. Army has a formidable running attack, but this was a 2-3 team that had lost to Duke (35-19), Iowa State (31-10), and Tulane (17-16). Vanderbilt might have gotten jobed on a few calls, but the game should have never been close. Make no mistake about it VSL Nation, Vanderbilt football this year is officially indefensible.

2. Penalties. If anyone says Vanderbilt is a disciplined football team, kick them in the balls. Don’t think about it, don’t consider who is saying it, just kick. Hard. Vanderbilt had 12 penalties for 99 yards today, including 2 that negated touchdowns. We have 46 penalties for 338 yards through 6 games this season. Last season, we had a total of 56 penalties for 473 yards. There is no excuse for so many false starts, there is no excuse (not even the wind) for kicking the ball out of bounds on kick-offs, and there is no excuse for illegal substitutions. I haven’t seen a replay of the offensive pass interference that negated what would have been the go-ahead touchdown (but it was impossible to see on the one replay they showed at the stadium), but even if that was a terrible call, 11 penalties for 84 yards is also unacceptable. The fact that 2 of out penalties lead to Army first downs hurts even more.

3. Play-calling. It’s awful. The love-affair we had with the “Wild Cornelius” was astonishing since I don’t think it ever netted a gain of more than 5 yards. The inability to come up with any kind of cohesive game-plan continues to amaze me. Don’t worry though, we still got the reverse in (I think it resulted in a 4 yard game).

4. Larry, Larry, Larry. Larry Smith is not improving as the year progresses, in fact, he’s going the other way. 11-24 is a pretty terrible percentage. He gets too many balls batted down, and he takes too much time to get rid of the ball. There’s no doubt Vanderbilt’s receivers drop a lot of balls, but today that wasn’t the problem. Don’t get me wrong, there were at least 3 drops, but Larry has got to be more of a play-maker than he currently is. Stanimal texted me that it’s time to go to Mackenzi…I’m not so sure. But I’m beginning to come around.

5. Who Needs Touchdowns? Apparently, not us. As I talked about above, we had 3 TDs called back. 2 due to penalties and one due to a ref determining Warren Norman was down. Again, I missed the replay, so I have no idea if the call was a good one or a bad one. What I do know, is Vanderbilt only managed 6 points on 3 trips to the red-zone. Warren was trucking in before fumbling in OT, but the fact we only managed 2 field goals is incredible. You aren’t going to win games (let alone road games) 1 field goal at a time.

6. Time of Possession. As good as the defense is (and frankly, I think it’s pretty damn good), they aren’t given a fair chance to help the team if they never get off the field. Army dominated the T.O.P 36:09 to 23:51. In the 1st and 4th quarter, they possessed the ball for 20 minutes, compared to 10 for us.

I’m sure there’s more, but I’m honestly at a loss. What did I miss? What made you nuts? This list is in no way exhaustive. What I do know is this, if last season was a step forward, this season is shaping us to be at least two steps back.

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I really wish I didn’t care about this sport. I just can’t imagine how much bitterer this season would be if we’d screwed it up at Kentucky last year and finished 5-7. Good grief.

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Bobby O’Shea has organized a road trip to West Point. Email him if you’re in the neighborhood and wanna join the tailgate.

The Black Knights of the United States Military Academy run a veer triple option offense. Through five games this season Army is 7th in the country in rushing offense. They throw the ball rarely and badly, and thus are dead last (120th) in passing offense and above only — you guessed it — the Dores in passing efficiency (199th). However, the Cadets do have a 6′10″ wide receiver who is a converted lineman and probably looks funny lined up opposite 5′10″ DBs. There’s your pitch for tuning in to the game via CBS Sports’s online pay-per-view option.

Sadly, Vandy (2-3) has no place (and can’t afford) to scoff at any team’s passing numbers. We’re not far behind the Cadets at 114th in passing offense, and as I said, we’re dead last in passing efficiency. With CBJ hoping to quiet the murmurs of a “quarterback controversy” (a term I trust we’ve all come to hate with roughly equal passion), with the Norman-Stacy-Hawkins backfield trio returning to full strength, and with the Dores looking to learn something about discipline from their mil-school brethren, let’s hope tomorrow’s contest is a regrouping and confidence-building opportunity.

I wouldn’t go so far as Casey Hayward in calling Army (2-3) a “great team,” but I have no doubt that they feel they can beat us and are licking their chops for the opportunity to knock off an SEC foe in their house. I also know that they’re eager to stop the bleeding coming off a heartbreaking 17-16 loss at home to Tulane last week, in which their kicker shanked a 37-yarder that would have won the game in the final seconds.

What I don’t know is how much we’ll learn about our team from this game. If we win, we’re in the proud company of, er, Duke and Iowa State. And Tulane, sort of. If we lose, we lose to a team with little-to-no recruiting advantages that has been rock-bottom of Division I-A for many years on end, and basically runs a high-school offensive look that no one in our conference shows (Georgia Tech being on the schedule is duly noted, but still). At a minimum, I’d like to see Larry establish himself with some high-percentage passes that take a little pressure of the backs and the O-line. I’d like to see several solid, systematic drives that eat up clock and give the defense half a break. I hear the leaves in West Point are beautiful this time of year — I’d like to see those too. Alas, I leave that pleasure to Bobby O’Shea and the NYC crowd heading up yonder.

Point spread and picks to come shortly…

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Apologies as always for my lack of motivation to write content — hoops season is almost upon us! — but thanks again to NYDore for writing the Power Poll ballot this week.

Here are the results; click through for details:

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Thanks to NYDore for filling out the SEC Power Poll ballot for STS this week — PhilipVU94

1. Alabama – Fans may miss his Bama Bangs, but Greg McElroy has ensured
   that they don’t miss John Parker Wilson’s play. Bama rolled despite subbing
   in the Band’s second chair squad for the 4th quarter.
2. Florida – Having an off week to rest Tim Tebow and prep for the
   Tigers was all a part of His plan. just not sure if “His” should be
   capitalized (regardless of whether or not I mean Urban Meyer).
3. Auburn – It is flat out inconceivable to think that this team won a
   3-2 shootout of blanks in Starkville last year. There are several SEC
   offenses that are now searching for failed Big 12 coaches to hire.
4. LSU – It’s hard to not jump LSU over Auburn after the huge win at
   Georgia, but the relatively close wins over Washington and Vanderbilt look
   fluffier and fluffier each week. Judgment Day comes Saturday.
5. South Carolina – Has the visor returned? The win over Ole Miss may
   be a win over the most overrated top 5 team since Ohio State was last in the
   top 5, but South Carolina continues to impress on both sides of the ball.
6. Georgia – The SEC apologized to Georgia for scheduling them to play
   #4 LSU. No word on any apology to Ole Miss, Vanderbilt, Kentucky and MSU
   for years of screwjob calls bolstering the conference elite.
7. Arkansas – Fact: Ryan Mallet > Tate Forcier. And it would have been
   fun to see the 8 foot Mallet try to run the Veer.
8. Ole Miss – It says more about Vanderbilt’s anemic offense that it
   lost by 16 despite forcing 3 Snead interceptions for the second straight
   year. Ole Miss still looks nothing close to a Top 25 team.
9. Miss State – Yielding 480yds to GT was less surprising than gaining
   480 of their own. Dan Mullen is making a lot of people forget about Sly
   Croom (thereby making redundant nearly all the therapists in Starkville).
10. Kentucky – On the bright side, Mike Hartline is only the third worst
    QB in the SEC. Of course, he’s also only the second best QB in Kentucky’s
    starting lineup.
11. Tennessee – The Kiffin Express has taken America by storm like a
    Sarah Palin special hosted by Jerry Springer and featuring a Montel Williams
    maternity test segment. It’s awful, but you can’t look away.
12. Vanderbilt – Nothing to see here. keep moving along. Hidden behind
    the crime scene tape cordoning off the bloodbath that is VU passing game
    statistics are a solid defense and a somewhat underrated running game.

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I think we can all agree that Stallings’ step #1 to the next level is getting us through the Sweet 16 into the Elite 8.

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At this time last season, Vanderbilt was 5-0 and ranked 13.5 (13 and 14 in the respective polls) headed to Starkville for a chance to become bowl eligible for the first time since 1982. This year, the Commodores are a disappointing 2-3 (including 0-3 in the SEC) and headed to West Point for a chance to become .500 perhaps for the last time this season. The question is why?

We have posited a number of reasons on VSL. To beat the proverbial dead-horse just to make sure it’s good and dead, I could go on about the offensive play-calling (which is absolutely awful, despite the head in the sand mentality the coaching staff appears to be taking). But I won’t. Instead, I’d like to point out a few key statistics that are indicative of why the Commodores have struggled this season. Don’t post comments about how I’m using stats to be a Vanderbilt apologist. I will be the first to admit that Vanderbilt’s 5-0 start wouldn’t have been apparent based on the stats compiled at this point season. I will also concede that Vanderbilt has been extremely hard-hit this season by injuries. Still, the team’s performance thus far as been nothing short of excruciating to watch. The question is: why?

1. Red-Zone Efficiency. Vanderbilt has made 2 more trips to the red-zone this season than last. The difference between this year’s 21 trips and last year’s 19 is how successful they’ve been once they get there. Last season, Vanderbilt converted 18 of 19 red zone trips, including 13 touchdowns. This season, Vanderbilt is a disappointing 14-21 in the red zone. Of those 14, only 9 have been for touchdowns. Perhaps even worse is Vanderbilt’s red zone defense this season, as compared to last. Last year, Vanderbilt limited opponents to scoring just 62% of the time (5 TDs and 3 FGs on 13 drives). This year, opponents are 11-11, including 6 touchdowns. Through 5 games last season, the defense would bend but not break. This year, the defense is bending AND breaking. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the red-zone defensive breakdown is that bad. The fact that they are preventing opponents from getting in the end-zone almost half the time is impressive. A few stops here are there would be great, but you can certainly understand why that’s difficult based on the next stat…

2. Time of Possession. After 5 games last season, Vanderbilt was averaging a time of possession of slightly more than half the game (30:51). This year, the are averaging just under 4 minutes less for an average TOP of 26:58. The defense is exhausted because the offense can’t get first downs. Even if they move the chains, the no-huddle is making what few drives the Commodores have that much shorter, thereby giving the defense less time to recover (Vanderbilt had run 295 plays at this point last season; this season, they’ve run 368). Perhaps the most indicative example of the impact of the defense’s time on the field: the red-zone defense discussed above.

3. Penalties. Whenever you watch a Vanderbilt basketball game, you are sure to hear the phrase “Princeton offense” at least 5 times. When it’s football, the cliche of choice is “disciplined football.” Not this year. At this point last season, Vanderbilt had earned 16 penalties for 152 yards, the total averaging out to 30.4 yards a game. This year, Vanderbilt has amassed more than twice as many penalties (34) and been assessed 239 yards. Worse, they are averaging 47.8 yards of penalties a game. Those numbers are bad, but they are even worse when you consider Commodore opponents have only been assessed 22 penalties for 188 yards.

4. What It’s Not. As Seamus highlighted in his excellent post-mortum of the Ole Miss debacle, Vanderbilt’s defense (despite the 2-3 record) is very good and should not be overlooked. With all that said, would it surprise you to learn that this year’s defense is BETTER than last year’s at stopping opponents on 3rd down: 36.5% last season, 30% this year. It’s also not a lack of turnovers. Vanderbilt’s early success last season was sparked by forcing, and subsequently taking advantage of, turnovers (again, see red zone efficiency discussion above). Still, Vanderbilt has a +7 turnover margin this season, compared to a +9 margin last season. Hardly a steep drop-off.

Commodore fans have reason to be gloomy headed to West Point this weekend. To say Saturday’s game is a “must-win” is honestly laughable because the math getting to 6 heading into our SEC East schedule is more difficult than the calculus class I had to withdraw from freshmen year. Unless something changes, and fast, the rest of this season is about looking towards the future and finishing with some pride. Not the way we wanted to follow-up our first bowl win since Eisenhower, but the numbers don’t lie as to why the Commodores find themselves in this particular predicament.

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Ole Miss is a good team, but their D ain’t that good. In an effort to figure out what we can take away from yesterday’s embarrassment at the hands of Ole Miss, I’ve been doing a little masochistic research. The most fitting — if depressing — characterization I could find comes from David Rutz on Bleacher Report:

We’ve got novices at two of the game’s most scrutinized positions (Smith at quarterback, Fowler at kicker), who appear to be needing the entire season to find themselves, we’ve got an offensive line that is badly underachieving, we’ve got a staff that’s getting out-schemed by every conference staff.

We’ve got problems. Where are the solutions?

David Boclair recaps the thrashing by highlighting the ridiculous 11 false start penalties for a team that has historically been the least penalized in the SEC (our 12 penalties last night were the most since 2003), and sums up the passing and penalty woes on offense with the following:

The Commodores had more penalties (12) than completions (10) and lost more yards to penalties (74) than it gained through the air (69).

Amazing. Jeff Lockridge argues that while Vanderbilt’s first two SEC losses could be blamed on the offense, there was “enough blame for everyone to share” this time. I couldn’t disagree more. The defense snagged 3 picks and put the offense in position to take advantage, but Larry & Co. came up short every time. We got into the red zone 5 times and scored on only 1 of those opportunities, and that was after the game was basically decided. For the third time in three SEC losses, the D was on the field for over 35 minutes.

Even after yesterday’s bludgeoning, Vanderbilt still has the #3 pass defense IN THE NATION. Here’s a few more stats to chew on: Vandy’s got the 25th total defense nationally, is 23rd in scoring defense, is 26th in sacks and 21st in tackles for loss, is 5th in pass efficiency defense, and is tied for 8th in the nation in turnover margin. Now let’s take a look at the offense: 120th in passing efficiency (that’s dead last in America, just behind Rice and — you guessed it — upcoming foe Army). 114th in passing offense, 99th in total offense, 93rd in sacks allowed… The numbers don’t lie: Vanderbilt is the most lopsided college football team in America.

What’s really troubling (by which I don’t mean to imply that there’s just one thing) is that the coaching staff doesn’t seem to have a clue what to do. Here’s CBJ after the game:

Maybe we’re trying to do too much on offense trying to set up things. We may need to simplify it and take advantage of the players we do have and execute.

A few problems with that statement. (1) He basically paraphrased the Donald Rumsfeld quote (about going to war with the army you have, not the one you wish you had) but, unlike me two weeks ago in this space, failed to properly attribute. (2) Seriously, CBJ didn’t wake up yesterday and realize that he has a young, inexperienced, and not-very-talented corps of receivers, yet the coaches inexplicably refuse to put the best and biggest targets we have — tight ends Austin Monahan and Brandon Barden — in positions to make plays. Last night Barden and Monahan combined for 1 catch and 5 yards. Simply inexcusable. (3) What is the substantive meaning of that remark? If he’s talking about simplifying the passing game to give Larry easier, higher-percentage throws, that’s one thing. But it sounds like he’s saying we’re getting too clever by half in the play-calling that sets up the unsuccessful pass plays, in which case I have to imagine this is a joke. Ted Cain, Jimmy Kiser, Charlie Fisher, Robbie Caldwell, and CBJ (buck’s gotta stop somewhere) have collectively put together the most unimaginative and uninspired game plans, in terms of calling plays that take advantage of what defenses are giving and making it cohesive, that I can recall ever seeing from a “no-huddle” “spread” offense.

Bottom line: CBJ’s comment has no meaning. It’s the dejected but obligatory press-conference response of a coach who is befuddled by a lack of talent and execution on both his team and his staff.

I hope Larry Smith can pull it together and start making some throws, but also feel more comfortable using his feet to get yards (he ran for more first downs than he threw for). With John Coles’ injury depleting an already-thin group of wideouts, he might not have a choice in the matter. We’ve seen LS do it before against Top-25 competition. I think he can bounce back and regain some confidence against Army, so I would not support a decision to bench him in favor of Mackenzi Adams — not yet anyway. That said, at this point a 4-8 record to finish the season has to be the most we can expect. That means beating Army and Kentucky at home. 5-7 would mean we pulled a serious upset. Six wins would be borderline miraculous given our remaining schedule.

Sorry for the long, self-indulgent MMQ rant. For anyone who somehow had the stomach to continue reading to this point, I’m going to finish on a positive note: freshman Warren Norman is a stud who has quietly become the #26 all-purpose rusher in the country, averaging 150 yards per game. War Damn Norman.

Frustrations, lamentations, constructive comments and thoughts on the upcoming basketball season are warmly welcome.

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Vanderbilt hosts Ole Mississippi: Who Ya Got?(poll)

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OK, as mentioned earlier this week, we’ve all been a little busy this week, which means our coverage hasn’t be that good (and by that, of course I mean non-existent). Unless Seamus or Stanimal step up, that streak is going to continue. Still, we aren’t going to completely abandon our loyal following of 8. So, here’s what other’s are saying out the game:

Bryan Mullen writes about Vanderbilt’s hope for an “encore” Saturday in the today’s Tennessean. The Nashville City Paper’s David Boclair highlights how Ole Miss is one of two SEC teams where Vanderbilt is actually working on a winning streak. Finally, Jeff Lockridge’s Vanderbilt “Insider” on Tennessean.com has 10 very good questions/observations headed into tomorrow’s game.

Kick-off tomorrow at 6 central on ESPNU

ESPN.com’s Chris Low gives Ted Cain the nod as one of the conference’s most underrated recruiters in the conference. The love doesn’t stop there, as Robbie Caldwell, Warren Belin and Jamie Bryant are also mentioned by name.

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Sorry we didn’t post a ballot. There was some lack of timely communication on my part in trying to involve some of the co-authors in this process.

Here’s the results, with us in 12th not surprisingly:

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The guys over at The Godfrey Show, a sports blog focused on Ole Miss and the SEC West, wanted to hear our thoughts on the Vandy-Ole Miss game this weekend. That, and they wanted to bust our chops about having gone to Vanderbilt and being Vanderbilt fans. Mostly the latter actually. In any case, they sent over some questions and Bobby O’Shea came up with some witty responses, while Stanimal and I added a dash of color by taking a couple shots of our own. Read our collective responses and decide who got the better of this snarky Q&A here.

Been a helluva busy week for the VSL staff, but we’ll be back with some thoughts on the game tomorrow.

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More bad news from the Tennessean’s Jeff Lockridge. Receiver John Cole and Strong Safety Sean Richardson underwent surgery Sunday. Cole suffered a broken hand and Richardson had a torn tendon in his thumb repaired. More from Jeff: “Two additional starters – tailback Zac Stacy and defensive tackle T.J. Greenstone – are hurting as well after the trip to Houston.”

2-2 and banged up…not the position Commodore fans wanted to be in with a third of our games in the books

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I asked Papa O’Shea this question yesterday during the Jets game and thought it was so good, I’d share with VSL Nation. We’ll be back with Vanderbilt content soon.

What is more deserving of Rookie of the Year Honors in the NFL?(polling)